How It All Began

In March of 2005 God began to get my attention and started pressing upon my heart a calling and a vision for a ministry. To be quite honest I was not certain what exactly that calling and vision was specifically at that time as I only had some general ideas. 

Many of my passions for young men's ministry were being awakened and drawn out by God at that time and the calling on my life in that area was increasingly being stirred by God pulling on my heart. That was not the first time though God had pulled on my heart in that area as they were pulled on in college to start a Christian Fraternity at Kansas State University. The difference was this time the calling was stronger and on a larger scale. Young men's ministry has long been a passion of mine and one in which I just come alive in helping brothers come closer to God. Over the years it has also been one of the most attacked areas of my life and with it pain, but the joys most certainly have made it all worth it.

What I didn't expect or know at the time was that many of my other passions would also draw out in this calling. The great thing about God is that He loves to surpass our expectations and He loves to bless us. Though not always in the timing we want and not without hardships and trials and obstacles, but if our heart stays after Him He does these things in our life. I have many that are waiting to be fulfilled, but many I have already been given and more than I had expected. Some are gone for a season and some may not return, but God loves to bless us and my prayer is that I will not forget better days are yet to come for those of us who love God with our whole heart and follow Him. I know that can be very hard to believe and hold onto and  for some harder than others, but it is none the less true. 

In the early days of the calling to this ministry I was perfectly content in staying within what I felt was just outside of what I was capable of doing. That was my own attempt to protect my own pride so as to reduce the chances of failing yet again. Yet, as I began praying and seeking God's direction in what He was calling me to start with this ministry and the vision that I began to get what I understood expanded. I wasn't ready nor was my faith at the point to step out for any more at that time. Then after a week of God speaking clearly to me 5 days or so in a row I finally took action and stepped out to go for this vision and calling God had put on my heart a month or so later. I wish I had journaled more then to have the exact dates and things God spoke to me recorded as I have since then forgot many of them.

There in life are often points of no return. While it is true that with God's grace sometimes we can return to those points often there is no return after those points and they are forks in the road. These are the times when wisdom and courage and faith are so very critical to finding the right path to walk down in our life with God.

M point of no return was when I dropped a few hundred support letters to friends and family in the mail box in downtown Olathe, Kansas. That was when for me there was no turning back and if I failed I failed, but I earnestly believed God had called me to step out in faith for this ministry. In the things in life you go for if you tell others when you go for it - it is much harder to quit when the going get's tough. This is very true when you tell hundreds of people in a support letter. What if no one responds I used to wonder, but thankfully people did respond and support began to come and a great adventure began.

You may have had God press something on your heart or you are now feeling that yourself. God is wise in never giving us more than we can handle or are ready for. You don't have to fear getting in over your head or being incapable of being used to do what He calls you to do. God won't give you more than you are ready for or can handle, but sometimes you will feel you are close to the point of breaking. You might even break, but God will not leave you nor will He forget you. Keep after Him and He will restore you. Rarely is anyone used to do great things for God who has not first been broken. 

My faith and scope of vision have increased as I have taken each step of faith towards what God has put in front of me to go for. What became of the calling and vision as it grew is what was birthed to become Desired Life Ministries. That name today has with it joys and pain. I have learned a lot and been used to bless others through this ministry, but I have also had areas of my heart that were hurt on this walk into ministry. If you feel called to ministry though the only real reason that really ever drives you into it is not the joys or the pains, but simply you can do nothing other than walk into what God calls you to do. Such a calling awakens a wooing and force of God within you that compels you to go forward in that calling. This is why to enter into phase two of the life map in vision you can not do so without having been through phase two of the heart and mind. You can visit the ministry home page to read about the life map model I developed to better understand that process.