''Where does the supernatural power of God have a real place? What difference would it make practically between the way we worked yesterday, and the way we would work today, and tomorrow? What difference would it make in the majority of Christians' practical work and plans. Aren't most plans laid out ahead of time? Isn't much work done by human talent, energy, and clever ideas? Where does the supernatural power of God have a real place?''
-Francis & Edith Schaeffer
As I shared in my last blog entry saying "yes" to the Lord to give what I felt Him putting on my heart to give ended up being the easy part. After I said "yes" I expected the Lord to tell me right away who to help out. As I soon learned though seeking God to find out who specifically He wanted me to help became the hard part.
I was specifically asking God who to give to and I was praying that when I did that God would confirm I had in fact heard from Him. I hoped the person I gave to to tell me some great story about how they had been praying for that specific amount. Then we would both know God had been at work and we had been in communication with Him that was heard and acted upon. I had put the money in the card shown in my last entry and wrote the following inside:
"God bless you. This is a gift to you. I have asked God who to give this to and I think you are the person he wants to have it."
I was not sure if the person I was going to give this to was going to be a Christian or not or if I would even know them, so I did not put my name in it as I wanted no credit from the person I gave it to. If the person knew me they would of course know who I am, but if it was a stranger I did not want them to feel they were to pay me back or know who I was, but that truly this was a gift God had spoken to me to give to them and my hope was that they were going to be in need for the amount I was giving them.
With my hope being that the amount I was giving would be specifically the amount they were in need of. If then this was what God chose to work through they would more importantly than getting the money know that an all knowing and loving God knew their need and had spoken to them as well as provided their need.
This of course requires actually asking, listening and hearing from God on my part. This was my heart and motive, to be listening and hearing from God and to be giving out of love. I believed that God would honor this and that the result would be a new reliance and deeper dependence on the Holy Spirit to be leading me.
I have heard stories of miracles like this from pastors and speakers, but few from people I knew personally and in my own life. As I shared in my last blog entry the pastor who shared of how his life was adventurous and passionate with a daily walk in which the Lord was doing great and mighty things in his life was what I have been yearning for and what I was seeking.
I also recently had it pointed out to me that most if not all the miracles in the Bible always started with a person doing something and then God made it a miracle. I can not think of one miracle God did in the Bible where He did not ask someone to do something first in obedience before he brought the miracle.
Now, of course what we expect and think God will do is rarely what happens as we thought it would or think it should. God also does not tend to repeat the miracles He does the same every time. He always does things better than we plan or hope for, but we do not always see that and of course often I think God tests us to see our faithfulness and our heart and motives. I also do not want to down play that the things we call miracles are going to be things we could have done without God. They should be things that we can clearly see God has done, although at first God may test us. If the first time things were not how I hoped I decided in advance I would not give up and I would keep faith that God was at work and I needed to simply continue and obey.
Nearly since the start of this ministry the quote above from the Schaeffer's has been one that I think of often and keep near me in this ministry and in my life. I have grown up around many great and loving people and now for nearly half of my life been in and around passionate lovers of God who have an on going relationship with the Lord. In my younger years I grew up in a church of people who approached faith from a more traditional way and there were examples of people serving God in Sunday School and Bible School and as usher's and such, but the study of the Bible and over all passion of people for the Lord and an understanding of a personal relationship with the Lord was not something taught or at least understood by me. There were no alter calls or prayers of asking Jesus to come into anyone's life and so I never really found assurance of my salvation.
However, my entire life the expectation of miracles of any kind in church or in people I know has never been all that high. Now of course half of my life in more evangelical churches no one would ever say God does not do miracles or they do not believe God answers prayers, but the things prayed for and lack of specific bold prayers have never been a common place.
I myself have for a long time lived as well with a low expectation of miracles and only lately have I felt God getting my attention regarding this. I think that is why the Schaeffer's quote has long spoke to my heart and something I think we all should ask ourselves regularly.
I have recently in wondering this and this common theme on the Holy Spirit had multiple books, sermons and speakers all touch on it and add to it which has been much like a confirmation to me that God is at work in speaking something to me.
So a couple weeks ago I started to seek to take action. Actually, before I gave the card with the large gift away I started with a large tip. I had been thinking I want to give a very large tip to someone who God puts on my heart to give to. I noticed that I was seeking women waitressing lately who are pretty far along in their pregnancy and that must be hard on them. Perhaps God was wanting me to bless one of them.
It was not long after that I had a waitress who was pretty far along and about ready to pop when I was at breakfast with a friend. Instead of leaving a percentage of my meal for a tip, I left nearly the cost of my meal as a tip, which for me was a very large tip. I left before she could see the tip and was even a little anxious. Of course nothing happened since I left quickly and I do not know the impact it made on her to get such a large tip, but I have to wonder how much that brightened her day to get such a large tip.
The surprising thing was that after I left I felt an immense joy and I felt great. I had wondered if I would later feel like I had been unwise in spending my money, but I did not regret it and I felt that I had just done some Kingdom work. In fact it gave me a new level of faith and desire to go and act on giving the large gift God had put on my heart away to someone. Until I gave that tip I was not sure about giving the large gift away, but that small act of faith gave me a bigger level of faith to increase my act of faith for the large gift I had been thinking of giving away to someone.
I have learned that to practice the gift of giving and to learn to hear from God and ask to be used in delivering miracles that I don't have to start out big and do beyond what the Lord has built my faith up to. I can do for me what is a stretch and then as I see the Lord bless that, I can increase my step of faith the next time.
So the next big jump in giving that card away with a lot of money in it became very exciting for me. I began walking in stores and going to Christian bookstores asking God to show me who to give the card to with the cash. I would go after work and walk around praying silently for the Holy Spirit to show me who to give to. After a week of doing this I started to get a bit impatient and was telling God I want to be used and I am willing, but you are not speaking and telling me who to help.
Right now in reading this God may be speaking to you an amount to give to someone though you don't yet know who and it is likely for you a big amount and the ironic thing is perhaps like me, you are finding the hard thing to say yes to God and give away that amount. What you may find unusual is if you tell God yes, the person to give it to, He may not reveal to you for a week or more and a work happens in your heart. Instead of one of fear in giving and a reliance on your money or resource, your heart shifts to a reliance on God and a joy and excitement in wanting to know who God wants you to give it to.
Start at the level of faith that is a stretch for you and ask God to help you grow in faith to work up to what you feel would be impossible for you to give. A new level of excitement and passion and adventure in being used to impact the Kingdom I believe awaits anyone who is simply willing to ask, listen and obey God in what He tells them to do.
Much like me you may have a fear of what if you hear God wrong or give too much. Just as the pastor who asked me that question, I ask you, do you think that you and an amount you think of to give, would be more generous than God would ask you to give? If you do then that in and of itself is something I encourage you to study in the Bible on God's generosity. God after all spared not even His only begotten Son to ransom you from eternal separation from him. When I was asked that question it helped me to see things from a perspective that freed me of that fear of giving too much. God wants us to give out of love and faith, not obligation or giving to get and that is the freedom we can have in following God in the gift of giving. To not feel guilt or fear, but to find joy and life in it.
Next, much like me you may have a fear that you will give it to the wrong person. How will you know when God speaks to you that you are to give it to someone? Those are good questions and will push you to listen, seek and want to hear from God. I myself was not 100% certain when I gave the card with money to the person God put on my heart to give to or the tip to the waitress. But I was more certain than I had been with anyone else and I obeyed God and gave. I put my faith in God that He would not lead me to give to the wrong person because my heart was earnestly seeking to give to the right person that God wanted me to give to in obedience to God.
Now, all that to say that what I expected next was not what happened. I thought this person I gave the card and money would later call me and share how they had been praying for help and this was an answer to their prayer since I knew them. I thought God would give me a great story and confirm my act of faith.
Instead I did not hear anything back that night or the next day from them, but got a text from a Godly friend of mine that her and her husband's car had broke down and they had only $6 in their checking account and did not get paid for another week or two.
Almost immediately the enemy was quick to attack with the thought "you gave to the wrong person."
This is why it is so important to be walking in the lifemap model. The renewal of the mind to be able to discern and see the attacks of the enemy are critical to walking with God. Imagine if I let the enemy trick me into thinking I heard wrong and messed up and I listened to that condemnation. I might have stopped this journey with God and missed out on the joy and relationship and blessings God has for me from this journey.
I knew that was not a thought from God. I knew I had given in faith and obedience as best I knew how the day before and so I prayed for my friend and her husband. I was at peace because as much as I would have liked to help this friend, I had done my part the day before to partner with God and helped another person. Though I did not get the confirmation back from the friend I have given to that I had expected, I chose to trust that God was using me and that He had a plan in action.
But, God was not done.
In my next blog entry I will share what happened next.
Leave a comment