How often do you take a big step of faith and find the outcome was not what you expected?
I have learned that rarely will the outcome of a step of faith be what I expect and that there is often a lag time in the fullness of what follows.
In my last entry I shared how I gave my first large love offering just over a week after asking God who to give it.
While the joy I felt was instant the response I was hoping for to confirm I had heard God right I never really got the first time.
It was days later when that person thanked me as they were shocked and didn't know what to say that night I gave it to them.
I was ready for the possibility that the outcome may not be what I thought it would be and set out to ask, listen and obey as best I knew how and trusted God to take care of the rest. I had hoped and prayed that God would confirm I had got it right in having the person I gave it to in telling me they had been praying or in need of that money and I would then know God had directed me to help them. They didn't say anything for a few days after that and were shocked I had helped them. In fact the next day another friend asked me for prayer because their car was broke and they were out of money until later in the month. I told them I would pray and the thought that I had heard God wrong and gave to the wrong person came to mind at the same time.
The enemy is quick to try and get us to doubt God. I knew I had in the right motive and heart and in faith given that gift the day before to my friend though. So I prayed for my friend and went on in peace that God was going to provide for my friend and she would be ok. The next day when I was buying groceries and also bought a t-shirt the thought came to me if I can buy these things when I have food at home I could eat and I don't need that t-shirt why could I not help my friend and her husband too? I began to think about that the entire day.
Later that night I was reading a book on hearing God and working with the Holy Spirit to be used and do things that can only be done with the help of the Holy Spirit. When I read some things on how we should not over think when we feel God is speaking to us and obey if we feel God leading us to do something. So I picked up my phone and texted my friend I wanted to help them.
What happened next was very encouraging as my friend said I was blessing them so much and that she had just been crying out to the Lord for the past hour asking for help. I was so encouraged as I felt I had heard from God and acted and my friend who had been crying out for God after being driven to a real state of need! She was encouraged because she had seen God answer her prayer for help after crying out to the Lord for the past hour. This was the very thing I had wanted to be used in doing and see happen!
I told her the next day I would send them a check. The next day I went to write them a check and I thought this will take days to get there and they need the money now. So I went to western union to send it to them that day. When I got in the parking lot the thought came to me that if I sent them what I sent my friend yesterday, which also was the amount they needed for the parts, they would have nothing left over for food. Plus if the cost of the parts was more than what I was sending them they would not have enough.
I felt God telling me to send more, but I reasoned with Him that I had already sent what I felt he put on my heart and this would be double plus more. I do not have a lot of money right now and this is a lot for me I told God. Interestingly now that I look back, I find it ironic that the amount I first was thinking might be more than God wanted me to give was actually less than half of what He was now asking me to give. This has again confirmed to me that I am not going to ever be more generous that God. I finally said I would to the Lord and I was excited to be used by God in such a bold way of faith. I also have since realized that just as Jesus says our heart is where our treasure is and as such moving our treasure will move our heart does in fact work.
I felt a great deal of joy and my faith growing. I was giving out of love and I was not giving to get and did not care if I got anything back. Yet, I had a new level of faith that God was going to take care of me and provide even though I was giving a great deal away. I was not giving out of my abundance, but was giving out of a joy and love.
I cannot claim to have started at that place though. Remember, only days before as I shared in my last blog entries I had to start with a $10 tip on a small meal to start moving my heart with my treasure. Then just days before when I gave my first gift after asking God who to give it to I thought I might be making a mistake and giving too much. Yet, here days later God had moved my faith to give more than double what I thought was more than He might ask me to give. My faith and my joy had grown in just days and I had witnessed God use me to deliver a miracle to a friend in need. This was exciting and I hope the beginning to new level of reliance and relationship and partnership with the Holy Spirit to be used by God in helping others and living a more impactful life for the Kingdom.
As I walked into the grocery store to use the Western Union I no longer had fear either. I felt God was leading me into a new adventure. When I got to the counter and I told the lady I wanted to send some money to a friend she told me I could save $7 if I didn't have to have it there today and could have it there tomorrow for $7 less. I was tempted to do that because it would be $7 less to send. Then I thought no they need the money now and I should send it now. I also had to laugh that I was now looking at a $7 charge and considering delaying the sending of the money a day over $7. I did the same day delivery and then texted my friend that they could get it at western union. I thought that my lesson was over and that God had finished with this miracle all His purposes.
Yet, God was not done. He would soon show me something else and teach me something pretty profound and impactful. I will share what happened next in my next blog entry.
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