Yesterday, I and over 10,000 people logged on to watch The Nines Christian leadership conference on-line. I've read multiple reviews of it and I've already blogged twice about it. I watched the twitter feed yesterday and this morning to see everyone's comments regarding it. I had no desire to blog on it again and had moved on, but then I tweeted with a brother earlier today who shared how he was overwhelmed by it all and felt like just giving up on being a leader. That struck something in me and if others are feeling the same way perhaps I can help encourage them in sharing this.
You may have been inspired or you may have overwhelmed or even disappointed from the Nines conference, but how did you view most if not all of those who shared their 9 minute message? Always ask yourself what you are thinking about what you are observing because our thoughts can be tricky and are not always our own.
I think I make a correct assumption that the word "peer" is not one of the words that comes to mind - at least not a peer like you see most of the peers around you. Which isn't surprising because the marketing did not condition that mindset. Which of course is understandable because it would be difficult to draw 10,000 people to a venue on leadership without conditioning a mindset of expectation from "top" leaders. What I think we all failed to realize was the result was pressure on speakers to perform and live up to that expectation along with us attendee's expecting it.
Depending where you are at in your spiritual journey this then produced a wide range of feelings. One thing I have found very liberating in ministry is to intentionally not let myself fall into the I must perform.. live up.. deliver.. strive.. etc mindset. That mindset withered the fruit of the spirit in my life and ministry and was toxic to my heart and relationship with the Lord. I never want to be more like the wizard behind the curtain than the characters living the adventure walking the yellow brick road.
I remember years ago when I was sharing my passion for ministry before I was ever given the vision for this ministry. I was at a retreat and just out of college at 23 and was sharing with a man maybe 10 years older than me at the time. After I finished sharing he told me wow I am impressed and your going to really make a difference in the world. I was somewhat shocked and taken back by what he said and I asked why do you say that? To which he told me something I have never forgot. Everyone else here is talking about all these great big ministries and dreams and goals, but you are talking about how you have helped individuals and I see your passion from that and they have in turn gone on to minister to others. Most people dream big and think of large ministries and big accomplishments, but you really care about people and helping them so much they are compelled to then go help others. That's that's rare people live and think like that and that's revolutionary.
It was about two years after that when God gave me the vision for this ministry. He didn't give it all to me at once and rightfully so because I would not have had the faith to step out in it. God began to reveal a small part of a big vision and has since then brought me closer to that mountain. It didn't look so big at first, but the closer the Lord has brought me to it - the more I can see on that mountain.
So to my friend who was overwhelmed by the Nines. Don't worry, ministry and walking with God is much like us as a young boy (or girl) with our feet in the ocean right beside our dad. He is there with us and we are not the father, but the son (or daughter). We don't have to be the teenager trying to act like we know it all, but we can and rightfully should be the young son who trusts his father. Even if we later realize we made mistakes and didn't know better along the way - we can be like the young son (or daughter) in our underpants splashing our feet in the ocean right beside our Father. As time goes on our Father will father us and we will grow through the stages of life, but those are stages of maturity and growth we must journey through with the Lord.
So where ever you find your walk with the Lord in ministry - remember your father is right there beside you.
